Chapter 1: My Relationship with Psychedelics

I have a deep appreciation for mushrooms. While other substances haven’t been beneficial for me, psychedelics have never posed a risk. Prior to understanding the scientific basis behind them, I sensed their potential for good.

Having remained sober for twenty years, I've made this choice for a reason. Alcohol is detrimental to my well-being, and I recognize the destructive nature of cocaine and meth. Though the debate on cannabis continues, I prefer to err on the side of caution.

I still cherish memories from my younger days, like the time I experimented with acid and had a memorable experience with shrooms at a party in Isla Vista, California. This small town near UCSB is famous for its wild parties, making it a risky environment for a young woman alone. At the time, I was attending a local community college and was dating a friend who lived with a mutual acquaintance.

One evening, while we were drinking, my friend offered me an eighth of dried psilocybin mushrooms. I consumed them wrapped in a tortilla and chased it down with a Corona, then waited for the effects to kick in.

The experience felt like something straight out of a Gen X film. As the mushrooms took effect, we found ourselves immersed in music and visuals. One guy, lounging in an easy chair, urged me to relax, but I found the irony amusing and told him, “Relax, it’s just a drug.”

After a while, I encountered my boyfriend in the hallway. When he leaned in for a kiss, I instinctively moved back, sensing something was off. It was as if my intuition awakened for the first time, revealing that he wasn’t the right person for me.

I embarked on a brief adventure that seemed to stretch for hours but was likely much shorter. I wandered to Freebirds, a bustling burrito joint, where I observed college students engrossed in their own dramas, hilariously wrapped up in their narratives. I couldn’t help but laugh, realizing how trivial their concerns were.

In that moment, the Universe seemed to bring clarity. Most people are just treading water when they could stand firmly on the ground. But at that moment, I felt grounded and entertained, a feeling that stays with me to this day. That experience, although chaotic, was profoundly spiritual.

As we returned home, I was still living with my parents at 19 and had missed curfew. A friend joked about treating the drive like a video game. Trusting his advice, I headed to my car with my boyfriend, who unfortunately broke my backpack strap while carrying it. Our relationship faded away from that night, and I drove home in my vintage VW Beetle, grateful to arrive safely.

Reflecting on that experience, I realize that while alcohol never provided me with such spiritual insights, mushrooms did. Eleven years later, I chose to abstain from alcohol and other recreational substances. My memories of drinking are filled with tragedy, while my encounters with psychedelics are rich with wisdom and joy.

I spent around 17 years attending AA meetings, feeling at home in that space. However, I recognized that if I revealed my microdosing practice, many would insist I restart my sobriety journey. I strongly disagree with that notion.

With 65 million Americans grappling with mental health issues—60% of whom remain untreated—we're facing a significant crisis. I refuse to let those who are uninformed dictate how others should pursue healing.

Having stepped away from AA years ago was a pivotal choice, partly due to the belief that any mind-altering substance jeopardizes sobriety. This perspective often comes from individuals who indulge in cigarettes and coffee.

The situation is alarming, considering our high relapse rates, which can lead to suffering and even death from untreated mental health issues. With the demand for professional help escalating, and resources limited to those who can afford care, it’s crucial we explore alternatives.

Traditional twelve-step programs represent just one path to recovery. Many who have struggled with substance abuse also require assistance with mental health challenges. Delving into the roots of our drinking reveals a desire to escape the trauma and symptoms of mental illness.

Utilizing substances like cannabis, LSD, ketamine, MDMA, or psilocybin serves as a legitimate means to address these challenges, either as harm reduction or a standalone treatment. Research indicates that pharmaceuticals may not always be the best long-term solution. It’s time to embrace alternative recovery methods without judgment.

Psilocybin mushrooms are a plant-based, non-addictive remedy that can alleviate depression, anxiety, ADHD, PTSD, and addiction. Remarkable success stories have emerged from studies dating back to the 1960s by Harvard's Dr. Timothy Leary and Richard Alpert (Ram Dass).

After years of suppressed research, the effectiveness of psilocybin is gaining recognition once more, with several states legalizing it for therapeutic and personal use.

Microdosing doesn’t induce full-blown trips, but safe therapeutic sessions are becoming available in places like Oregon. My intention in seeking psilocybin was for healing and connection, as opposed to the escapism I sought with other drugs. I wanted to engage, not disengage, and mushrooms seemed to offer that opportunity.

I immersed myself in the documentary "How to Change Your Mind," connected with others who shared their experiences, and eventually purchased magic mushrooms as a therapeutic alternative for ADHD, OCD (specifically skin-picking), and healing from past trauma.

Let me share my initial microdosing experience with you.

On the morning of September 13th, 2022, I took my first psilocybin microdose while hiking at about 9 am. I found myself hugging a tree in gratitude, feeling awestruck by the beauty and grace of nature. Although it wasn’t a full trip, it felt transformative. I sensed a profound shift in my consciousness—an indescribable feeling.

Nature can evoke similar effects without any substances, but I hadn’t felt so present in ages. I first realized something was different when my senses became heightened; I could hear the buzzing of insects, the chirping of birds, and subtle sounds of the forest.

I laughed out loud, appreciating the pleasant sensations rather than feeling overwhelmed. I expressed gratitude to the trees and plants for providing life, sustenance (blackberries), and resilience, despite the harm we’ve inflicted upon them. I acknowledged the plant within me that aided my return home.

While I noticed physical discomfort—like needing to pee—I chose not to dwell on it. Instead, I simply observed the feeling. Normally, I’d feel overwhelmed by sensory input, but that day was distinctly different.

I continued my microdosing regimen daily for that week, taking breaks every two days as advised. After the initial day, I didn’t feel much, but I became aware of some unresolved issues I needed to confront.

I read about tolerance and decided to take two days off, leading to improved sleep and a noticeable boost in my mood. I experienced a buoyancy I hadn’t felt in years, if ever. Issues that once troubled me no longer held the same weight.

As months passed, I settled into a new routine. Fast forward to today, I still take 1/8 of a teaspoon of mushroom powder, but now I take three days off, which seems to be the right balance for me.

The layers of my psyche continue to peel away like an onion. While shrooms don’t guarantee happiness, I’m navigating life’s challenges with more grace and ease than before.

As a single mom, I’ve learned how these small yet powerful mushrooms can work wonders. I’ve faced tension and anxiety, realizing how childhood trauma manifests in my relationships.

Thanks to psilocybin, I’ve transformed my approach, becoming calmer and more patient than I ever thought possible.

A friend of mine believes that psilocybin rewired her brain, and I can attest to similar changes in my own life. Research supports this notion, indicating that we’re onto something significant. I feel as though my neurotransmitters are firing in perfect harmony, leading to the disappearance of certain issues.

So, what is it about psilocybin that facilitates this rewiring? An April 2022 study from UCSF reveals that psilocybin therapy alters the brain's landscape. My friend, who struggled with depression, found her thought patterns shifting from rigid to dynamic after therapy.

Depression often confines the mind to rigid thought patterns that hinder well-being. This can be visualized as a landscape dotted with deep wells, making it challenging to switch between various thoughts and perspectives.

Psilocybin therapy works to "flatten" this landscape, allowing new insights and perspectives to emerge—essentially breaking down the barriers of rigid thinking.

According to a study conducted by Weill Cornell Medicine, psychedelic substances like LSD and psilocybin activate serotonin receptors in a way that reduces the energy required for the brain to transition between different states of activity.

I realize now that my nineteen-year-old self discovered a profound gift amidst the chaos of Isla Vista. Magic mushrooms have offered me peace and a vibrant landscape filled with opportunities for joy.

Years spent in a rigid mindset have transformed since I reconnected with this extraordinary fungus.

These days, I carry myself with newfound ease. I observe my healing journey as a witness, thanks to the psychedelic therapy I incorporate into my daily life. I’ve changed my perspective, one microdose at a time. Here’s to you finding your path to transformation.

Chapter 2: Real Stories of Recovery

In the video "Moms speak out on turning to mushrooms to cope," various mothers share their experiences with psilocybin and how it has impacted their mental health and well-being.

The video "Moms on Mushrooms uses psychedelics to treat depression" highlights the therapeutic potential of psychedelics, focusing on the journeys of mothers utilizing psilocybin for emotional healing.

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