Chapter 1: Understanding Ableism in Goals

Recently, a meme circulated that stated, “the only thing standing between you and your goal is the bullshit story you keep telling yourself as to why you can’t achieve it.” Someone labeled this as “ableist.” But is that really the case?

To illustrate, let’s consider an outrageous aspiration: wanting to give birth to a Zulu baby. There are clear reasons that make this goal unfeasible for me—gender, age, and ethnicity are significant barriers. Acknowledging these facts isn’t an act of ableism; rather, it’s a necessary recognition of reality.

What constitutes a goal, then? A common definition is that it’s “a dream with a deadline.” However, we can refine this concept further. The S.M.A.R.T. criteria for goal setting provides an effective framework:

• Specific: Clearly define your goal.
• Meaningful: It should resonate with you personally.
• As-if now: Phrase it in the present tense.
• Realistic: Ensure someone in a similar situation has achieved it.
• Time-bound: Set a deadline for accomplishment.

Given this framework, my initial goal was far from “realistic.” So, what misleading narrative was I telling myself that led me to even entertain such a thought?

The same reasoning applies to various aspirations that lack substantiated evidence of success from my perspective. If I realized a particular goal was beyond my capacity, I would need to recognize that. If no one has achieved it from my position, I might ask myself: Could I adjust the goal to make it attainable? For instance, instead of giving birth, could I adopt a child from the Zulu culture? If that aligns with my intentions, then I should pursue adoption. If it doesn’t resonate, it’s time to redefine my path toward happiness.

What’s the point in torturing myself with unattainable aspirations? The meme didn’t suggest that any goal is within reach; it emphasized your personal goals. A healthy adult should steer their emotional and mental state. If you find yourself struggling with this, seeking professional guidance is a positive step. I have benefited greatly from therapy and counseling.

Another approach to evaluating goals is the M.A.G.I.C. formula. This asks: “Is this a reasonable and constructive goal?” The pivotal questions are “Who am I?” and “What is true?” The key consideration is whether it’s true that, starting from my current situation, I can achieve this through consistent positive actions.

• Do I have a clear model or roadmap for my journey toward the goal?
• Can I commit to the essential daily actions that will propel me forward based on the insights I've gathered?
• Am I cultivating gratitude and positive emotions to counterbalance any fears?
• Is my intention clearly defined in solvable terms, consistent with the S.M.A.R.T. format?
• Do I possess the courage and confidence to take necessary actions toward realizing this goal?

If you can affirmatively answer these questions, you have a viable goal and a plan of action. If not, it might be time to reconsider your objectives. Why pursue a goal that even you doubt?

You may argue that it’s the expectations of others that drive your choices. Yet, as an adult, you must distinguish between external pressures and your own commitments. It is your goal. If you find it impossible to resist the weight of others' expectations, then seeking assistance for personal growth and healing is crucial.

There’s no shame in needing to adjust, learn, or refine your objectives.

So, why hold onto a goal you don't truly believe you can achieve? How have you been defining “goal” in a manner that supports your well-being? And what misleading narratives have you been telling yourself about it?

Namaste,

Steve

www.lifewritingpodcast.com

Chapter 2: The Impact of Ableism on Goals

In this video, a disabled woman responds to ableist memes, shedding light on how societal perceptions can influence personal aspirations and the importance of recognizing one's limitations.

This video discusses the additional expenses faced by individuals living in an ableist society, emphasizing the need for awareness and change regarding societal expectations and support.