Title: Navigating Identity and Work-Life Balance in Tech Careers
Written on
Chapter 1: The Proposal and Its Impact
In 2021, I was presented with an intriguing opportunity from my mentor: to serve as a solutions engineer for one of Dell's major clients. Having just returned from Brazil, where I always feel rejuvenated, I was ready for a new challenge. Upon landing in Boston, I noticed several missed calls, one of which was a voice message from my mentor expressing confidence in my abilities to take on this role. After weighing the options, I jumped at the chance. The prospect of new responsibilities, learning experiences, and a fresh team invigorated me.
This marked my second transition within the company, the first being in 2019 when I began engaging with large clients. Each new venture filled me with excitement and motivation. In Portuguese, we often say someone "wears the company's shirt" when they are deeply committed to their employer. I was proud to embody this spirit, donning my metaphorical shirt daily, along with the accompanying pants, socks, shoes, and more.
As time went on, my dedication became evident; I frequently received company recognition, and people began to identify me as "Mari from Dell." While this might sound like a personal branding success, I started to question if this identity was truly mine or merely a reflection of my corporate role.
Section 1.1: The Weight of Identity
I found myself increasingly absorbed in the idea of being "Mariana from Dell," which began to overshadow other facets of my identity. The demands of work led me to neglect my involvement in extracurricular activities, such as diversity and inclusion initiatives, as well as groups focused on women and Latino professionals. My relentless pursuit of the next goal left me feeling depleted.
This experience is often termed burnout. I previously wrote about strategies to avoid this pitfall. Over time, I recognized that I am more than just my job titles. I encompass various identities that contribute to my uniqueness. It's a complex realization, as my therapist would affirm.
Subsection 1.1.1: The Conversation Over Coffee
During a coffee chat with a fellow Brazilian friend in Boston, who also works in tech, we explored our shared identities as women, leaders, and professionals. The intertwining of these identities often blurs the lines between personal and professional life, making it challenging to establish healthy boundaries.
Section 1.2: Lessons Learned
To avoid falling into the identity trap, I wish someone had shared these insights with me:
- Prioritize Your Health: Your mental and physical well-being should always come first. Consider therapy if it's accessible to you.
- Maintain Your Passions: Stay engaged in extracurricular projects and community groups. As a friend in IT once mentioned, "That's my emotional salary."
- Separate Self from Company: Remember that your identity is not solely defined by your job. The only "shirt" you should wear entirely is your own.
- Recognize Your Role: Understand that in the eyes of the company, you are just an employee number. The relationship is often transactional, and while you may find personal fulfillment, it's crucial not to rely on your job for your overall happiness.
- Value Beyond Position: Your worth as an individual is not tied to your job title. Focus on skill development and self-awareness to establish clear boundaries.
Chapter 2: Embracing Change and Authenticity
The first video discusses the challenges of defining oneself solely by one's career, illustrating how this can lead to an identity crisis.
The second video emphasizes how to escape the rat race and regain control over your life, particularly as you navigate your career path.
In conclusion, build your identity, embrace change, and remain true to yourself as you traverse your career journey. The company you work for will never prioritize your well-being like you can.