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Romantic Comedies: The Confusing Lessons They Teach Us

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Chapter 1: The Allure of Romantic Comedies

There's something enchanting about watching charming characters navigate their way through love, isn't there? Yet, these films often present obstacles that must be overcome, reinforcing the notion that love is fated, even if it resembles a quest for a needle in a haystack. While many romantic films convey the idea that everyone has their match—a sentiment I personally resonate with—there are troubling lessons embedded within these stories.

  1. When Harry Met Sally: This classic romantic comedy is one of my all-time favorites, but it propagates a misleading belief: “Men and women can’t be friends.” Early in the film, Sally challenges Harry on this point, asserting that men can be friends with women they find unattractive. To which Harry retorts, “No, you pretty much want to nail ’em too.” Hilarious, right? It may have been funny back in 1989, but it oversimplifies relationships. Personally, I have several platonic friendships with men that I value immensely. Most of my connections with men are platonic, and I suspect that’s true for many people.
  2. Sleepless in Seattle: This film, which I have critiqued extensively, makes me cringe. My best friend argues that it empowers women to leave a “nice guy”—even one as handsome as Bill Pullman—to pursue their soulmate. In Annie's case, her soulmate is another “nice guy” with a child, living across the country. Great choice, right? Who needs a stable, successful fiancé when you have a voice on the radio?
  3. While You Were Sleeping: Another film featuring Bill Pullman, this one revolves around a convoluted plot where he ends up with the girl, having taken her from his brother, played by Peter Gallagher. While I adore this movie, it propagates the idea that dishonesty can be charming. The message seems to be that our fantasies can overshadow reality, which often leads to deeper connections that aren't based solely on superficial appearances.
  4. Dan in Real Life: In this narrative, Dan, played by the irresistibly charming Steve Carell, ends up in a relationship with his brother's girlfriend. The dynamics of two brothers involved with the same woman feel a bit too biblical for comfort.
  5. Crazy, Stupid, Love: This film presents a perplexing message about “revenge” as a valid motive for romance. Steve Carell’s character, heartbroken by his wife's infidelity, seeks to become a “d-bag” himself. This leads to a series of questionable decisions, all in the name of winning her back. Despite the chaos, it somehow concludes with a happy ending. Go figure!

The first video titled "CRAZY STUPID LOVE is a FANTASTIC Romantic Comedy" dives into the film's charm and its convoluted messages, highlighting its comedic genius while questioning its romantic ideals.

  1. Love, Actually: A film I cannot resist, despite its numerous flaws, showcases a series of misguided romantic gestures. From confessing love for a friend's wife to prioritizing a demanding sibling over personal happiness, it’s all wrapped up in British charm.
  2. Celeste and Jesse Forever: In this film, Jesse's aimlessness is blamed on his wife, Celeste, suggesting that only the “right” woman can set a man straight. This narrative reinforces harmful stereotypes about relationships.
  3. Pretty Woman: I hesitate to delve into the implications of this classic, but it certainly offers a problematic view of love and relationships.
  4. Pretty in Pink: The character Blane often comes across as a dull snob, while Duckie, the lovable sidekick, captures the audience's heart. Ladies, choose wisely!
  5. Peggy Sue Got Married: At its core, this film reminds us that many mothers would choose to remarry their husbands, regardless of their flaws. Peggy Sue, however, had choices to make.

Reflecting on these films makes me realize that the last romantic comedy I genuinely enjoyed was Celeste and Jesse Forever, which was released in 2012. Perhaps I’ve subconsciously avoided rom-coms for the past decade, fearing they would feature characters glued to their phones and swiping right instead of exploring meaningful connections.

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Chapter 2: The Lessons We Overlook

The second video, "Crazy, Stupid, Love is Nearly Perfect" examines the film's almost flawless execution, while pointing out the confusing messages that may impact viewers’ perspectives on love.

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