Real-Life Ideas for Making the Workplace Worse for Everyone
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Chapter 1: A Reflection on Workplace Realities
It's not often that I find myself nostalgic for the daily grind of work. However, a recent interaction with an electrical services company reminded me of the absurdities that can permeate the workplace. Each time I reached out, the representative cheerily greeted me with, "How can I make you smile today?"
I couldn't help but think of some outrageous responses I could give, like asking them to quack like a duck or perform a dance. Yet, I realized they probably hear plenty of sarcasm already.
Sometimes, companies adopt policies that seem to humiliate their employees in the name of creating a fun atmosphere. One vivid memory I have is from my solitary visit to a Coldstone Creamery, where staff members were required to sing whenever they received a tip. While the employees might have been prepared for this quirk, it still made me cringe for them.
Perhaps these odd practices genuinely boost profits, or maybe I am merely projecting my discomfort onto others. If you've experienced something similar, please share in the comments.
The Unpleasant Employment Contract
For many employees, standard workplace rules can be downright miserable. A prime example is the infamous job posting from Benjies Drive-In movie theater in Maryland. In 2022, their employee guidelines were made public and quickly went viral for their outrageousness.
Here are a few highlights of these rules, which primarily affected teenagers working part-time for meager pay. The bold text is as it appeared in the original.
- If you are NOT scheduled for certain days, you are still expected to come into work if called.
- You must be reachable by phone at any time, meaning you should never plan anything on your days off. However, if you request a day off with a 17-day notice and management approves it, you can escape this "always on call" policy.
- If there are any accidents or injuries, you must undergo immediate drug testing. Employee well-being seems to be a low priority here; blaming the worker is clearly job one.
- If you miss work due to illness, you must see a licensed doctor and provide written proof of your fitness to return to work. This essentially means you should tough it out instead of going home, as obtaining a doctor’s appointment can be time-consuming and costly.
- Failure to give at least two weeks' written notice before leaving could trigger legal or financial consequences. While the exact nature of these penalties is vague, it sounds intimidating enough to warrant legal counsel.
After facing public backlash, the rules were eventually relaxed to some degree. Interestingly, customers also faced challenges; they had to pay extra if they wanted to consume food in their cars that wasn't purchased from the drive-in.
The Cost of Ignoring Employee Well-Being
So far, I've highlighted some amusing examples, but some practices that negatively impact workers are tragically serious. With rising summer temperatures, many employees, especially those working outdoors, face extreme heat. They desperately need shade and hydration. Yet, states like Texas and Florida have enacted laws preventing cities from requiring heat protections for workers.
These new regulations counter initiatives in cities such as Austin and Dallas that aimed to guarantee water and shade breaks. Now it's solely up to employers to act responsibly. Surely, no employer would force workers to perform strenuous tasks in 110-degree heat without providing adequate breaks, would they?
The Alarming Rise of Child Labor
In a more disturbing trend, the U.S. Labor Department reported a 44% increase in illegal child employment over a ten-month period ending in July 2023. Shocking examples include 14-year-olds operating dangerous machinery at fast-food restaurants or working late shifts. In one instance, a 14-year-old boy suffered chemical burns while cleaning meat-cutting equipment, leaving him exhausted in school.
Rather than addressing this issue, some lawmakers are loosening child labor laws. For example, Louisiana is proposing to eliminate the requirement for a 30-minute break for teens after five hours of work. Other states are following suit with similar proposals:
- Iowa: Allowing 14-year-olds to work in meat coolers and industrial laundries, and permitting 15-year-olds to work around dangerous machinery.
- Minnesota: Permitting 16- and 17-year-olds to work in construction.
- Arkansas: Eliminating work permits for 14- and 15-year-olds.
- New Jersey: Allowing 16- and 17-year-olds to work up to 50 hours weekly in summer; 14- and 15-year-olds up to 40 hours.
- Florida: Permitting 16- and 17-year-olds to work 30 hours during the school year, with parents able to waive this limit.
The logical next step seems to be for states to eliminate schooling altogether and place children directly into the workforce. Thankfully, some states are recognizing this alarming trend and are working to strengthen protections against child labor.
The Need for Respect in the Workplace
So, how can we truly make people smile? The answer is simple: treat individuals of all ages with the respect and dignity they deserve. This means not exploiting children as cheap labor, ensuring the safety of adult workers, and refraining from humiliating employees. It's not asking for much, is it?
List of Unions and Their Websites
- Six worker rights organizations
- Know Your Rights Toolkit
I count myself fortunate to have never worked in a place that required me to wear a hat shaped like a hotdog.