Chapter 1: An Unexpected Violation

To Whom It May Concern,

For as long as I can recall, I have quietly resided at the heart of the Messier 87 galaxy. While I may not be the epitome of perfection, I have endeavored to be a courteous neighbor and a responsible inhabitant of the Universe.

This morning, however, my tranquil existence was shattered when I discovered that images of my most intimate features were circulating on the Internet without my consent. It’s crucial for me to emphasize that I never agreed to have these private snapshots shared publicly. As I have always maintained, if something resembles a ring and is enveloped by gas, it’s likely a butthole, and you should definitely seek permission before posting images of it online.

My disgust grew upon learning that this heinous act was orchestrated by a network of so-called "scientists," who conspired over seven years to develop advanced technology capable of surreptitiously capturing these intimate photographs. One does not spend 53.49 million light-years away from humanity unless one desires solitude, and I am heartbroken to be subjected to such a calculated and reprehensible violation of my personal space.

For the past five billion years, I have taken extensive measures to evade such unwanted scrutiny, including maintaining a gravitational force so powerful that not even light can escape, and refraining from uploading any risqué images to the Cloud.

Nonetheless, I have been compromised by a group of “academics” and “visionaries” who seem intent on humiliating me before the entire solar system in the name of scientific advancement.

The video titled ERNEST - Flower Shops (feat. Morgan Wallen) (Lyric Video) humorously captures themes of longing and personal struggle. Much like my situation, it reminds us of the complexities of emotions and the need for understanding.

Chapter 2: The Emotional Toll

The insults I’ve endured over the past 24 hours have been incredibly painful. I have been labeled an “absolute monster,” “supermassive,” a “simple object,” and described as having a mass “6.5 billion times that of the Sun.” While I may exist as a mere region of space, I possess feelings, and these derogatory terms have plunged me into a darker emotional state than I thought possible.

It is contrary to my nature, but these cruel actions have compelled me to take a stand. I must remind you that if you are sharing or posting these images, you are complicit in this violation, and I will be exploring all legal avenues available. While I am strong enough to endure this humiliation, I fear for younger and smaller holes who may not have the same fortitude.

This unfortunate experience marks my first real interaction with humans, and I must say, I am not eager to repeat it. I hope you can respect my privacy at this time — although your past actions give me little reason to believe that you will.

I am aware that those responsible for this appalling act see it as merely the first step in a broader discovery process. I also know t