1. The Importance of Reassurance

In the early days, my partner and I dedicated time to reassuring our daughter. We encouraged her with supportive phrases like:

"You can take things at your own pace."

"It's perfectly fine; you're capable, just take your time."

"You’re brave; you’ll be okay."

We also took the time to explain Ella's behavior:

"Ella just wants to be your friend and has no intention of hurting you. When she gets excited, she may come close to show her affection."

This reassurance helped my daughter understand that:

1. There was no rush—she could take her time to overcome her fears.
2. The fear she felt was internal and not a reflection of reality.

In my experience attending 12-step meetings, there's a saying: "Fear is False Evidence Appearing Real." Recognizing this is crucial; fear often exists only in our minds. As FDR famously stated, "The only thing we have to fear is fear itself."

2. Gradual Exposure and Positive Reinforcement

Next, we facilitated a gradual introduction between Ella and my daughter, using a baby gate to maintain a safe distance. Before long, my daughter was petting Ella through the gate—an impressive milestone!

Each positive interaction received praise, reinforcing her progress and helping her feel more secure.

3. Conquering the Fear

Eventually, my daughter found the courage to step out of her comfort zone. Although she still occasionally needed to retreat to her safe space, day by day, she managed to overcome her fears. Watching her grow in confidence was a heartwarming experience, leading to a strong bond with Ella within just a week!

Overcoming Social Anxiety

Interestingly, my daughter's journey mirrored my own struggles with social anxiety. Just as her fear of dogs was irrational, my fear revolved around social situations where I feared being judged or embarrassed.

Over the years, I learned to confront this anxiety and no longer let it control me. My strategy included:

• Reassurance: I sought comfort from self-help literature, therapy, and a supportive family who helped me realize that my fears were unfounded.
• Gradual Exposure: I began by visiting quieter places and gradually ventured into more crowded environments. This step-by-step method built my confidence while allowing for retreat when necessary.
• Facing the Fear: The final step was directly confronting my fears. Stepping out of my comfort zone revealed that most people are not judgmental, making social interactions less intimidating.

Ultimately, like my daughter, I found greater comfort in social situations and learned to manage panic attacks. For both of us, confronting our fears fostered resilience—a vital quality that enables us to tackle life’s challenges confidently.

This resilience is especially crucial for aspiring writers, as the writing journey is filled with highs and lows.

P.S. Here’s another picture of our adorable Ella!