Mastering the Broken Record Technique to Combat Bullying
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Chapter 1: Understanding the "Broken Record" Technique
The "Broken Record" communication strategy can be a transformative tool if you're familiar with it, and it requires minimal practice to implement effectively.
Photo by The Jopwell Collection on Unsplash
Many of us encounter individuals who utilize persuasive methods to extract commitments or delegate tasks we're unwilling to undertake. In the past, I often found myself arguing against these tactics, allowing them to drain my energy, and at times, I would eventually concede under pressure. However, after learning this communication technique from Dan O’Connor, my perspective shifted dramatically.
Among the various skills I’ve acquired, this one stands out as both straightforward and immensely beneficial: the "Broken Record" technique. Here’s how it works:
- Clarify your position.
- Regardless of the arguments presented to you, consistently respond with your stance.
This method functions like a broken record, repeating the same message. It can be applied in both personal and professional situations and is effective for interactions with people of all ages, including children and the elderly.
Our son began to adopt this behavior around the age of 2.5, and we were often impressed by his ability to articulate his thoughts, leading us to concede at times.
How does this technique manifest in real-life scenarios?
For instance, suppose your workload is already full, and a coworker requests your assistance with an additional minor project that will consume 100 hours. A typical response might be: "Thank you for considering me, but I'm unable to take on this project right now." While there's nothing inappropriate about this reply, some assertive individuals may persist, probing into your other commitments to redirect your priorities or suggesting that you work overtime.
Engaging in a debate with such pushy individuals can feel exhausting, like running on a treadmill where you’re constantly on the defensive. Instead, flip the script: regardless of their follow-up questions, return to your original statement: "That's interesting, but as I mentioned, I have no capacity to assist with this project."
When they inquire about your other projects, respond with, "Rest assured, I simply cannot accommodate working with you on this project."
Parenting Without Raising Your Voice
The "Broken Record" technique is particularly valuable in parenting, as it allows you to establish and maintain clear boundaries effortlessly.
For example, if your stance is, "You can look at all the sweets and candies, and we can discuss them, but we won't be purchasing any," you can repeat this line each time your child expresses a desire to buy more sweets. This straightforward approach avoids ambiguous phrases like "not today" or "just three items," which young children may struggle to comprehend.
In situations where your child is hitting a sibling, you might say, "I noticed you hit your sibling; I really appreciate when you both get along. What can you do differently next time instead of hitting?"
From our experience, it only took a few repetitions of this approach to significantly reduce such behaviors and encourage more positive interactions—without the need for yelling.
Best of all, employing the "Broken Record" technique requires minimal energy.
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Chapter 2: Practical Applications of the Broken Record Technique
In this video, titled "Episode 9: Broken Record Technique," learn how to effectively implement this communication strategy in various scenarios.
The second video, "How to Stand Up For Yourself and Not Back Down When People Try to Push You Around," provides further insights on asserting your boundaries using the "Broken Record" technique.