Understanding the Role of Fawning in Survival Mechanisms
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Chapter 1: The Nature of Fawning
Fawning, characterized by excessive displays of affection and servility, is primarily a behavior adopted to evade conflict. While it can foster a sense of security and mitigate disputes, relying on fawning may lead to adverse mental health consequences over time.
It's understandable that many may feel resistant to this idea, as fawning often serves as a defense mechanism against trauma. However, isn't it true that many individuals engage in fawning daily, whether to cope with an unfulfilling job or to manage challenging interpersonal dynamics?
In various contexts—be it professional interactions, casual acquaintances, or personal relationships—most of us have resorted to some form of fawning to placate others at some point in our lives.
Understanding that fawning is intertwined with survival instincts, I delved further into this behavior and discovered that it is part of the "4 Fs": fight, flight, freeze, and fawn. These instinctual responses have developed to enable swift reactions to life-threatening scenarios, but they can also manifest in everyday life.
Section 1.1: Fawning in the Workplace
Fawning can take various forms in a professional setting, such as:
- Agreeing to every request from your boss or colleagues, regardless of your feelings.
- Showering praise on a manager to evade criticism or unfavorable feedback.
- Neglecting your own interests to align with the preferences of a group.
- Withholding your thoughts or emotions during meetings or social gatherings out of fear of disturbing others.
Subsection 1.1.1: The Emotional Toll of Fawning
Constantly engaging in fawning can be detrimental, as it forces you to suppress your emotions and continuously consider the feelings of others. This may lead to feelings of invisibility, difficulty asserting boundaries, and emotional breakdowns from bottling up your true self for too long.
You might find it hard to express anger towards those who have wronged you, often internalizing blame and justifying disrespectful actions. Compromising your values to maintain peace or shutting down emotionally to cater to others' feelings are common outcomes of habitual fawning.
Therapist Pete Walker asserts, “Fawning ultimately results in the death of self. When we compulsively mirror what others expect and want from us, we detach from our own sense of identity, needs, and desires, and even our own bodies.”
Section 1.2: Cultivating Authenticity
When grappling with internal dilemmas, reflect on questions like, “Am I doing this to satisfy someone else?” or “Will this choice ultimately harm me?” By recognizing your fawning tendencies, you can steer yourself toward a more authentic existence. This shift can lead to healthier, more satisfying connections with others.
Chapter 2: Further Insights on Fawning
The first video, "Understanding Trauma Survival Responses: Fawning and People Pleasing w/ Dr. Kate Truitt," delves into the complexities of fawning as a survival response and its impact on relationships and self-perception.
The second video, "THE FAWNING RESPONSE: What You Need to Know to Give It Up & STOP Abandoning Yourself," discusses strategies for recognizing and overcoming fawning behavior to reclaim your identity.