Chapter 1: The Constant Stream of Thought

There are moments when people inquire about my thoughts. I distinctly recall a coworker once questioning my intense stare, as I appeared lost in contemplation. This wasn’t an isolated incident, and it likely won’t be the last. I seem perpetually donned with a "thinking cap," often preoccupied with fascinating ideas or, regrettably, replaying past events in my mind.

Although some may find this peculiar, it's become a fundamental aspect of who I am. I recognize that my mind is always in motion, a constant cycle that has always existed within me. Therefore, I can confidently state that this tendency is an integral part of my identity.

However, the challenge arises when this incessant thinking disrupts my everyday activities. In writing, this mental process serves as a helpful tool, allowing me to capture whatever thoughts surface. I can articulate my ideas effortlessly. This mental engagement is beneficial not only for online writing but also for jotting down thoughts to declutter my mind. In these moments, my "thinking cap" is not detrimental.

Yet, I often find myself in situations, like taking a shower, where I intended to finish in ten minutes but instead took twenty. In these instances, I wish my mind could switch off, enabling me to complete tasks more efficiently. At times, it’s astonishing how quickly time flies when I’m lost in thought.

I’ve come to realize that being engrossed in my thoughts consumes far more time than I initially believed. The saying that thoughts possess power is no exaggeration; they can either invigorate or exhaust us. I can spend hours simply sitting with my thoughts.

I enjoy the solitude of my mind. While some individuals are deemed deep thinkers, I’m uncertain where I fit in that spectrum—perhaps I’m just a thinker.

There’s a certain magic in connecting the dots within my mind, often triggered by environmental cues or spontaneous feelings of gratitude. For instance, today I was pleasantly surprised to find my old laptop running Windows 7 was still functional, aiding me in editing this draft. It had lain dormant since the early days of the pandemic, and a wave of appreciation washed over me as I watched a YouTube video. In that moment, I felt a strong urge to embrace my laptop.

It’s impossible for me to ignore my thoughts completely. However, fixating on unresolvable issues only leads to frustration. At times, I must set boundaries to prevent my thoughts from spiraling into a negative cycle.

The gym has been a positive influence in this regard. I’ve noticed a shift in my thought patterns and actions. There are instances when I would typically react impulsively, but I now find myself pausing, reflecting, and then responding. The frequency of mindless thinking has diminished as well.

Occasionally, I catch myself delving too deeply into my thoughts. I then remind myself that this is simply a habitual pattern, one I can consciously choose to break. It’s akin to applying an anti-gravitational force—though it’s often challenging to sever the cycle, taking a moment to pause is ultimately worthwhile, as mindless rumination leads nowhere.

Chapter 2: The Role of Music in Reflection

The first video, "Fire Emblem Fates - Lost in Thoughts All Alone [Full English Version]," captures the essence of introspection and emotional depth, resonating with those who often find themselves lost in thought.

The second video, "Fire Emblem Fates - 'Lost in Thoughts All Alone' | ENGLISH ver | AmaLee," beautifully encapsulates the struggle of navigating one's thoughts, making it a fitting accompaniment to this exploration of mental reflection.